Me, hubby and MFIL VS me time *UPDATED*

Could u guess what I wanna talk about from the title?

-at this rate, I galau mau pake bahasa indo or inggris, maap ya kalau bakalan campur sari- 

Sebelum ak cerita lbh lanjut, perlu digaris bawahi bahwa ceritaku ini hanya sharing untuk berbagi bukan dengan maksud menakut2in ya khususnya yang akan tinggal dengan mertua.

Keep ur positive mind to continue reading it. If not ready yet, close it for now. hehehe

So, it's been a month already since I got married and in to the new pace of my life, as a wife and.....a daughter in law. You can read here to refresh or get some enlightment about or after marriage home. =]


How do I feel?

Confuse! No.1 on my list is confuse.

Boleh dibilang ak tu cukup "bahagia" dulu sebelum merit selalu ada yang ngurusin kecuali saat nyokap ga ada n ART jg ga ada. Tapi most of the time, sepulang kerja, ak cm akan nonton TV sampe saatnya tidur. *parah lo..*

Sekarang beda judulnya. Bener-bener me time ak cm saat di tempat kerja. Trz ak suka bingung mau ngapain kalau dirmh. Saat menjelang dinner itu saat paling bikin ak lumayan stress sih karena mau bantuin tapi ga tau gimana. Jadi wara wiri ga jelas. Uda mana paling bingung basa basi pula. Rasanya masih sungkan.
Abiz makan baru ak tau harus ngapain. Bersihin utensils. Ada dua dapur di sini. Dapur kotor dan dapr bersih, biasanya ak dan Mr. A tu ganti2an deh mau berada dimana.

Next feeling itu, overwhelmed n underpressured.

Kenapa?
Karena berasa dapat tekanan untuk bisa membantu dan harus membantu plus.
Pulang kerja bisa sampai rumah sih jam 4. 30 p.m. the earliest. Trz bingung jg ngapain. Jadi di kamar paling yoga, bersihin WC, rebahan, or blogging..Tapi after 6 p.m. onwards, lupakan lah yang namanya ME TIME.  Kalau pegang gadget kelamaan, Mr. A bisa protes. Padahal chats paling seru kan jam2 segitu. wkwkwkwk.
Uda pernah curhat sih ke Mr. A soal ini sblmnya dan akhirnya he said sorry.

How do MIL feel?

Upset and dissapointed!
Yes, she was.
Jadi, last Saturday I went out with my friends. Pulang sampe rumah, disambutlah Mr. A dengan tampang tegang gt. I still had no idea what is going on until he said it out.
My MIL told him that I didn't help out her a lot, I spent too much time in the room, I even didn't do the laundry and let Mr. A did it (on Saturday when I went out with my friends, Mr. A inisiatively did the laundry by himself). >.<
She sheded her tears also. She felt tired also since my MIL works also with her own bussiness, but she still has to manage the households.

Mr. A tried to explain since he knows how I felt already. But...it just still wrong.

How did I react?

Shocked and cried. hohoho

Well, shocked uda pastilah ya. Siapa jg mau ada conflict apalagi made parents sedih. Abiz shock terbitlah air mata. The easiest way ya nangis dulu. Dalam proses nangis itu, isi otak uda merajalela kemana.. Sedih dan merasa ga adil juga sih. Mr. A bilang " Kamu harus kepoin." " Kan ak uda bilang."
Questions in my mind :
Why I have to do this and that while she doesn't expect that from her daughter and son?
Why Mr. A didn't say this and that?
Why Mr. A can't forseen this before coz I had?
What kind of kepo should I do?
What to do??
How to do this????
and etc etc etc...

Mr. A? tambah bingung. wkwkwk.

Tapii.. abz nangis, ak duduk and bilang ke Mr. A "Coba ulangi lagi, biar ak tau harus gimana?"
Mr. A senyum and nanya kenapa gitu? trz ak nangis lagi n mencurahkan semua pertanyaan2 yang di otak tadi.

Mr. A akhirnya bilang, " Mau tinggal keluar aja?"

Ak diem dan langsung mikir "Bukan itu jawabannya"

What I need is the clue how to deal with my MIL.. bukan dengan cara walked out.  So, I refused it.

Tapi ak bilang, I will try to figure it out deh.

Selesai nangis, uda mau jam 6. Artinyaaa... uda harus keluar ke dapur kan? Panic mode on. Mata n idung msh merah n bengkak. Tapi ya cuek ajalah, keluar deh ke depan.

Once I met my MIL...dy langsung bilang. " Shal, kamu jangan sungkan2. Kamu kan sudah menikah dengan Mr. A, kamu berarti uda anakku. Kamukan bukan tamu lagi. "

Me: *meweklagiiiiiii* manggut2 n berusaha senyum2 gelo

She even said that she loves me like her own daughter. She said I have to learn for this households, that one day it will be up to me. They will not be there forever. She said that it has been the way she works for the whole life time, I have to understand her speed.

My FIL joined our conversation by adding " Masih baru, masih bingung." and he smiled. *hugs*
But my MIL said " Kalau bingung ya tanya."

Then, I shared what I felt also. How I confused, I shared what I did and days when I have yoga class n will come home late.

My FIL added up that as parents, they might be just will be around for 5-10 years ahead.

Means, we, as child, will not be always count on them.

After that few minutes, everything is okay already. =P

I am relieve.......and once again grateful.

That night, Mr. A hugged me and said " Don't be upset ya with my mom."
I answered him, " I didn't at all.."


In conclusion?
Yup,
Ak sama sekali tidak merasa kesel or marah koq. I just confused and overwhelmed n sempet sedih dan ga adil. Tapi...my common sense wins. Ak sadar kalau ak ga cukup berusaha dalam waktu beberapa minggu ini. Ak memilih untuk "ah biarin aja".

Tapi ak lupa kalau ak udah pernah berjanji untuk sayang my MIL and FIL as much as I love Mr. A and my parents.

Ak padahal yang selalu reminds people around me kalau waktu ortu kita ga akan selamanya dengan kita, jadi kita harus banyak2 membalas budi mereka. Karena berbakti adalah hal utama yang harus kita lakukan.

Ak jg ga mau Mr. A harus memilih. He must not have to choose. Walau orang2 bilang kalau sudah menikah harus prioritasin istri dan keluarga sendiri, tapi ak ga mau kalau yg harus mengecewakan ortu. Karena doa ortu adalah rezeki kita juga. I dun want my children do that to me either one day in the future.

Yang paling utama adalah kalau my MIL fair enough untuk langsung bilang ke ak di dpn ku. It means she wants me to be better instead of talking behind me with others yang at the end malah ditambah dengan "bumbu2 dan hasutan2" orang lain.

I really appreciate it. I am more than grateful...once again.


Every parent always wants the best for us.

The question is.. can you see that?

Behind every successful man is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law.

Hubert H. Humphrey